


Passing Fancies

by mimosa (Error305_Proxy)



Category: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-22 14:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Error305_Proxy/pseuds/mimosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>00Q drabbles that I wrote for fun. They were originally meant for my eyes only, but somehow they appeared here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things that he knows

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Passing Fancies 心血來潮](https://archiveofourown.org/works/623311) by [shuiqing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shuiqing/pseuds/shuiqing)



“You’re going to get me fired…” Q whispered breathily after he and James had finished having sex in an unmonitored corner in the labyrinth that MI6 has become.

“In which case you could always make a living selling information about me to the terrorists.” Bond quips absent-mindedly, his fingers running through Q’s hair. "You know all my deep dark secrets, after all."

However unfeasible and out of the question the action may be, there was some amount of truth to Bond's statement. Q knew things about 007 that no one else in the world did. Though the quartermaster highly doubts that anyone in their right mind would pay for that information.

For example, he knew that 007 orders his coffee black, but when in the privacy of his (which is really to say, his and Q's) apartment, prefers adding double cream and sugar to it.

He knew that 007 favors chicken over fish, unless it’s fish and chips. James Bond will eat fish and chips once a month, but orders only from the shabby little restaurant two blocks from Q's flat.

He knew that 007 enjoys poetry, but doesn’t like Shakespeare. In fact, abhors Shakespeare.

He knew that 007 has discovered a growing fondness for Earl Grey.

He knew that 007 likes to kiss him and whisper “I like how you smell” if Bond thinks Q is asleep.

He knew that for 007, saying out-of-place and rather random things like “I like how you smell”, or “Your hair is really soft”, or “Your skin is smooth, quite like porcelain” or “I like your eyes” is as close as he is going to come to saying “I love you”.

And he knew that was enough.


	2. Living situations

Q did not realize that he and Bond were living together.

He did not realize it when Bond stopped asking “Your place or mine?” after a long day or a particularly trying mission. After all, they made use of Q's apartment so much (it was much better furnished and actually feels like a human being lives in it), that it hardly warrants a question.

He did not realize it when he had to push aside Bond’s suits hanging in his closet in order to find his favorite brown cardigan. (Sometimes Q thinks that Bond hides his cardigan in the very back of the closet on purpose, but it is only a thought.)

He did not realize it when he had to move the bottles of scotch and whiskey in his pantry to get to his tin of Earl Grey. (Bond has an impressive collection of scotch and whiskey that he insists are meant for different occasions. Q can't really taste the difference. But then again, he is getting the second-hand taste from kissing Bond, so he can't really be sure they're not all that different.)

He did not realize it when instead of separating his and Bond’s socks after folding them, he just put them all in to the sock drawer. (Yes, Q has a sock drawer. Yes, it is quite fancy.)

He did not realize it when on one particular morning after sleeping in, he grabbed one of Bond’s tie instead of his own, and put on one of Bond’s socks by mistake. (Q's socks are never matched, but he feels the difference when he's walking around MI6 later in the day, one foot is signficantly more comfortable than the other. Q takes to stealing Bond's socks after that.)

He did not realize it when Eve commented on the tie. (To which Q's reply was, "They sell more than one at the department store", and then mentally kicked himself because even he knows the tie he's wearing did not come from a department store.)

He did, however, realize that something was going on when he got two invitations to the MI6 New Year's eve party in the mail. One addressed to “The Quartermaster”, the other addressed to “Agent 007”.

“Bond, why am I getting your mail?” Q asked when the special agent returned carrying the Chinese takeout that Q had demanded. (Q likes Chinese food, the greasier the better. Bond frowns and sniffs for a good five minutes before he will take a bite.)

“Impossible.” James furrowed his brows as he started taking out containers from the brown paper bag, “I don’t get mail.”

“This.” Q pushed the crisp invitation towards him. The dark maroon letters upon white paper clearly addressed to Agent 007.

“Oh, that.” James shrugged, handing Q his usual order of sesame chicken. “I put down here as my home address for MI6.”

“Beg you a pardon?”Q blinks uncomprehendingly. 

“I put down here, this flat, as my home address.” James said, taking a bite of his spring roll after inspecting it for a second. “Just to make things easier.”

“You….” Q opened his mouth to say something. Anything. But found that usual witty comebacks have forsaken him.

“They sold my flat.” James sighed, not bothering to explain who "they" are. He paused between sentences, as if talking to a child, “I didn’t have an address for a while, when they asked this was the first one that came to mind.”

“Oh…” Q nodded, taking a bite of broccoli(Q eats all the broccoli from his sesame chicken first, then eats all the chicken with the rice).

“Is that ok?” James does not sound nervous. He absolutely does not. But Q knows him well enough to hear the edge in the question, the refusal to meet the eyes of his quartermaster. Q knows him well enough to know that while James is never nervous, he is at the moment uneasy.

“Sure.” Q nodded, there was really no other acceptable answer to the question. After all, Q realizes with a surprising sense of calmness, they have already been living together for the last couple of months.


	3. Horror

Q enjoys horror movies even though he has an irrational fear of ghosts and zombies and all things supernatural. When he watched Paranormal Activity he couldn’t sleep for weeks afterwards (it ended when James came back from the mission he was on, because let’s be honest, there is no force on Earth that James couldn’t protect him from, even a supernatural manifestation of Satan). Q watches them nonetheless, he reads Stephen King and watches American Horror Story, and James never says anything because he knows it means Q will insist on showering together and be even cuddlier than usual in bed.

“You need to stop watching it.” Bond says from the kitchen. He’s making dinner and Q is sitting in front of his laptop watching The Exorcist. 

“It’s supposed to be good.” Q says without taking his eyes off of the laptop screen.

“Then put it on the TV.” James glances at the huge HD tv on the wall of Q’s apartment. 

“No.” Q refuses not for the first time. Q refuses to watch horror on the actual TV, claiming that the screen is too big and makes the movies infinitely more terrifying. James pauses the chopping of cucumbers and looks at Q for a second. The laptop is on the dining table, and Q’s chair is pushed all the way back against the wall. The Quartermaster is leaning as far back from his laptop as possible, his feet are on the chair and he’s hugging his knees as if that will protect him from whatever horror is happening on the screen.

Q lets out a scream when the face of the devil flashes in-between scenes.

“You’re right. I can’t watch this.” Q decides, but doesn’t turn away from the laptop. “I need to shut this off.”

“Then do it.” James goes back to the chopping again. 

“I can’t. I don’t want to get any closer to the laptop.” Q says, “If I stay out of reaching distance, nothing that comes out of the screen will be able to grab me.”

James knows this is a remnant of that one time Q watched The Ring (The Japanese version, because of course Q refuses to watch the American version and of course Q speaks Japanese.) 

“For a science person, you are incredibly illogical.” James states.

“Science person?.” This is what James calls him sometimes, a science person. Q doesn't mind. He thinks it's amusing, but he does try to pretend to be offended every time it happens. However at the moment he has other things on his mind, “Hurry up and turn this off for me.”

James sighs and walks over to the dining table. He presses the space bar on Q’s laptop, pausing the movie on a harmless shot of the desert. 

“No, you need to close this window.” Q says just as James turns around to walk back into the kitchen.

“You have got to be kidding me.” James says, in the exact same tone of their first meeting.

“No, I refuse to go near it when it’s still on.” Q says seriously, he doesn’t take his eyes off the screen, as if something awful will happen the second that he does. “Close this window for me.”

“You must stop watching horror. I don’t know why you thought you could do this.” James berates as he closes the media player window (or whatever software that Q is using). 

“I don’t know either.” Q mutters and follows James to the kitchen. He stands next to James and doesn’t do anything. Doesn’t say anything.

“You don’t want to sit alone with your laptop right now, do you?” James smirks as he throws a knowing look at Q. “What am I going to do with you?” He says fondly as he brushes a kiss on Q’s cheek.

“Quiet.” Q mutters and leans into James. 

“So this is how to stop the great Q from working on his laptop, all I have to do is play a horror movie on it and you won’t go near it?” James picks up the knife again to finish the chopping that should have been done 5 minutes ago.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I have my work laptop.” Q rolls his eyes, “That is the one specifically for movies.”

“Of course, how silly of me.” Bond allows himself another smirk as he presses a kiss, this time to Q’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Q to have some irrational fear/addiction... and for some reason this came to mind.
> 
> I will say that this is my strategy when I watch horror movies, I do it on my laptop and sits as far from it as possible. Silly, but I haven't died yet, so apparently effective :P


	4. In which there is a distinct lack of sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason it strikes me that of the two of them, Bond is the one more likely to be insecure in the relationship. It makes sense if you think about his past with relationships, but don't think about it too much.

Q starts to get worried when the sex stops.

  
James has a break for a week. They’re staying in the same bed, there is a lot of cuddling, an insane amount of cuddling. But no sex.

His boyfriend, James Bond, known throughout the British government (and many other country’s governments as well) as a symbol for sex (and destruction) has been sleeping in the same bed with him, in perfect health condition (Q would rather not think about that one time after the Dubai mission when all James could do was stay in bed and grumble), and they have not had sex.

Not once, not even close. Q has tried to initiate things, but other than a couple of make-out sessions that leaves Q painfully hard and as frustrated as a randy teenager.

It ends when one morning, Q decides to wake James up with a blow job. And James pushes him away with a groan.

“What is going on?” Q sits in bed and glares at James accusingly.

“I don’t know what you mean.” James is rubbing at his eyes, as if he didn’t just push away a perfectly willing, perfectly naked quartermaster.

“When was the last time we had sex?” Q asks. It’s been 7 days, 4 hours and 32 minutes. Not that Q’s been counting.

“7 days 5 hours.” James mutters, suddenly looking guilty. “Look, Q. It’s not that I don’t want you…”

“Of course not.” Q sniffs haughtily, “How could you not.”

“Yes…well…” James shrugs, “So long as you’re clear on that.”

Suddenly everything falls into place. It becomes so painfully clear that Q kicks himself for not seeing it earlier. He then punches James Bond on the arm for being a complete idiot.

“This is about 004, isn’t it.” Q asks as he crawls to straddle Bond.

“No.” James says a little too quickly. Q has since found that James Bond can lie beautifully without batting an eyeslash to anyone. Anyone in the world but his quartermaster.  
7 days ago, 004 saunters into Q branch and caught James and Q making out like teenagers in a movie theatre.

“He’s only keeping you around for the sex.” 004 snarks as he lays down his equipment to return to Q branch.

“He is not.” Q frowns but takes the equipment anyway. Everything was in one piece and seems to be functional.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” 004 throws James Bond a look, “What do you think your quartermaster is going to do when one day you’re get too old to be attractive? He’ll find a young field agent to be his new favorite and where will you be then?”

The only thing that stops Q from shooting the man there and then is the knowledge that he had tried to seduce James two months prior and failed miserably. “Get out.” Q grits, and vows to make 004’s life a living hell.

“Well he’s right isn’t he.” James says even as Q starts to grind against him. “We can’t even go for a week without sex. Let’s not try to fool anyone, sex is important for us.”

“Of course it is.” Q whispers against James’s ear. “so why are we not having it?”

“I was trying to prove a point.” James sighs as he starts nuzzling Q’s neck.

“What, that you can survive without sex?” Q suddenly sits up straight and narrows his eyes, “If you’ve touched anyone else - ”

“No, that you wouldn’t leave me if we stopped having sex.” James pulls Q down towards him again, “No, Q, I haven’t touched anyone else. I haven’t even thought about anyone else.”

“Good.” Q kisses James deeply, reminding the agent of everything he had been missing out on for the last week, “I wouldn’t leave you if we stopped having sex, you twat. I wouldn’t leave you.”

“What if I’m old and can’t dress myself.” James asks, and draws in a sudden breath when Q starts licking and sucking at a certain spot on his heck.

“I’d hire someone to dress you, old man.” James can feel Q’s breath as the quartermaster speaks, “But I wouldn’t leave you. Don’t be daft.”

“Promise?” James’s hands hold down Q’s hips, he kisses the top of Q’s head just before Q slides up so their noses are touching.

“Promise.” Q whispers solemnly, “I will never leave you, not until you leave me.”

“Good.” James doesn’t promise Q forever. James can’t. Just like how James can’t promise Q he will never leave. Because there are too many reasons for him to leave: gunshots, poison, knife wound, burns, explosions, drowning and suffocation. “Only death.” He whispers before their lips crash together and join in a passionate kiss.

James can promise that he will only leave Q on pain of death. It’s a promise that he is able to make and keep, and it will have to be enough for Q.

It is.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To: bill.tanner@mi6.uk  
> From: iamadickwad@hotmail.com  
> Subject: I need backup  
> Bill,  
> For some reason none of my credit cards are working. My phone doesn't work for anything other than sending out emails from this one account. My apartment is without power and I just went to my bank to get money but the clerk says all my money has been transferred from my account to the London Ballet Company as a donation. All my bank accounts. All 18 of them.   
> Some terrorist group mush have somehow hacked my information. Get Q branch on this.  
> 004
> 
> one unread text from: blocked number  
> You know better than to send emails to MI6 from unsecured email accounts. 
> 
> To: iamadickwad@hotmail.com  
> From: bill.tanner@mi6.uk  
> Subject: RE: I need backup  
> 004,  
> Apologize to Q. You're an idiot.  
> And a dick wad.  
> Tanner  
> PS. I hope you are ready for life without technology. Welcome to the dark ages.


	5. Little to be unhappy about

There are a lot of things that Q doesn’t like but tolerates for the sake of James.

For example, he really doesn’t like eggplants, but they seem to be somehow a favorite of James’s, so he cooks them once a week and serves himself the smallest portion possible and fills himself up on rice. 

Q hates cooking over a gas stove. He’s always paranoid that he will somehow burn himself, or that something in the kitchen will catch on fire the moment his back is turned, and the whole apartment will burn down. But James’s apartment has gas stoves so Q cooks with them anyway, and always lets out a sigh of relief when he’s finished and nothing gets burned.

Q likes to read before he goes to sleep. But of course James likes to do other things before sleeping and Q’s copy of Cloud Atlas sits on the nightstand untouched except for the nights when James is out on missions.

Q likes sleeping in till the last minute before going to work, and grabbing coffee on the way to MI6, but James likes waking early, and when James is up he likes to do all sorts of things to Q that wakes him up as well. So Q doesn’t get to sleep in anymore unless James is feeling merciful. It’s not very often.

But all these and more Q will tolerate because he knows there are things about him that drives James crazy but the agent never complains about.

Like for example, Q leaves his things all over the apartment. Little gadgets and pieces of equipment that he’s working on or holding in his hand that just gets left behind when his mind jumps to something else or he gets called in to the office for emergencies. James cleans up after him, he is careful not to mess anything up, but makes sure to leave them on the coffee table from wherever he discovers a little piece of tech.

Q has destroyed a couple of James’s shirts and ties when he’s doing laundry, and they have more than variation of the following conversation.

“I told you somebody comes in and does them, you don’t have to do any of that.”

“I was doing a load anyway and thought I’d help.” 

“For a science person you are completely inept at handling a washing machine.” 

“I can take it apart and put it back together in less than half an hour.”

“Well that doesn’t matter you don’t know how to use one properly and ruins all the clothes.”

“You’re rich, just buy more.”

And that’s the end of that. Q knows James should be giving him hell for putting too much bleach into the wash, or not separating the whites and the colors, or not using the right setting on the dryer, but James never does and Q is grateful. He stops doing laundry after the first two months and lets whoever comes in do them instead.

Q is a decent cook. He can make meals and even though they’re not amazing like the ones that James makes, they are decent enough that James doesn’t complain about eating them. But Q leaves a mess in the kitchen every time after he cooks and refuses to clean up.

“If I’ve cooked then obviously it’s your turn to clean and do the dishes.”

“Yes, but I do the dishes when I cook too.”

“Because you always use too many pans when you cook and it’s impossible to clean.”

James ends up cleaning after Q, and he never asks why there’s sugar all over the counter when the recipe has no sugar in it, or why Q thinks it’s a good idea to peel carrots over the sink but fails to keep all the peel in the sink, or how Q manages to every single time knock over some kind of oil so that it’s impossible to clean. James just cleans and then kisses Q and tells him dinner was wonderful.

So Q thinks that it’s ok that sometimes the agent drives him up a wall. He accepts the fact that he’s not going to get a lot of reading done with the agent at home and he knows sleeping in is now a luxury. But Q is fine with all that, because James is much too tolerant for his own good and Q has little to be unhappy about nowadays.


	6. Little to complain about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure this one makes sense... but it popped into my head and won't leave so was forced to write it. A prisoner of my own mind...  
> Goes really well when read with the previous drabble "Little to be unhappy about", almost like two sides of a coin (except not really and I really don't know what I'm doing)

It seems ironic to James that the only place where he has absolutely no sway is in Q branch. The employees at MI6 has always shown him respect and a healthy amount of fear, but everybody at Q branch seems to be immune to anything James can throw at them, be it threats or charm or smiles or smirks or scowls. 

 

Q branch as a whole is insanely loyal to Q. James is not entirely sure that he can always count on their loyalty to MI6, but he knows the staff in the branch would die and come back to life if only Q breathed the word.

James knows the attitudes towards him start at the top. They start with Q.

Q is completely impervious to James’s usual ways of getting his way. Q is like a cat. A haughty, aloof cat that does what he wants and doesn’t care for not doing things the way he likes them. In fact, James is sure that Q actually goes out of his way to give him the opposite of what he wants.  
For example, when he asked for a gun with a larger ammunition clip, he instead got one with a automatic target seeking aiming system. “So you’re not wasting all those bullets.” Q says with a smirk as he hands over the gun.

Or that one time he asked for something small he can have on his person that will act like a bomb when detonated remotely, Q ends up giving him a set of throwing knives. Granted, they did explode nicely when he threw them, but it was really not what he wanted at all (James had seen in a spy movie where a man threw one of his cuff-links into a warehouse and the whole thing had gone up in flames when he pushed the other cuff-link as he very coolly walked away without looking back. That’s what James wanted). 

So of course it figures that the first time that James asks Q out on a date, the very expensive restaurant (that James picks after carefully deliberation) gets robbed and it ends up being more of a mini mission than a date. Again, opposite of what he had wanted.

Or really, when he saunters into Q branch and asks Q rather coyly if he can spare half an hour to see to the needs of his agent, Q has the audacity to point him to the weapon testing range, and hands him off to one of the interns. “007 is feeling restless. Make sure he spends all that extra energy, please.”

James knows that’s when Q branch’s interns stop seeing him as a potential danger or threat to their well-being and start seeing him as the boyfriend of their boss that they should feel free to treat as their boss does. That’s when he stops being able to intimidate the staff in Q branch into giving him extra gadgets, or flirting his way through losing equipment on the job.

But that’s also the night that James takes home and fucks him through the mattress and then calls in sick for him the next morning to keep him in bed. So generally, James is alright with the incident.

And when two weeks later the equipment that he tested on that day ends up saving his life in a mission in Singapore. Well, James really has very little to complain about his Quartermaster.


	7. In which Q really hates MI6

The thing that Q hates about working in MI6 is that the job never ends. There are no set hours, no weekends, and no statutory holidays. This of course, means that there is no way that Q can keep to a schedule, aside from maybe scheduling about 14 hours for work every day.  
It is particularly difficult when one’s boyfriend keeps a similarly hectic schedule, but not the exact same hours.

So what does end up happening is that on the one evening in a week that Q is actually able to leave work at a reasonable hour, his boyfriend James Bond is on a retrieval mission in Mozambique. So Q ends up going back to an empty flat and making himself a sandwich (which ends up being too soggy because he leaves it to the side of his laptop as he tries to code a program that will control his entire kitchen so that it will make omelets in the morning, the coding doesn’t fail, it just needs further improvement) and eventually settling down to re-watch The Black Swan with a cup of chamomile tea.

He gets a call from a blocked number at 11:24pm, and knows that because it’s blocked that can only mean it’s from a phone of his making. He picks up after pausing the movie and setting down his cup on the coffee table.

“It’s me.” The familiar voice does not surprise Q, it puts a smile on his face.

“You’re not supposed to call my cell when you’re out of the country.” Q says, and is glad that James can’t see his grin.

“You’re not supposed to play favorites and give me a better phone than all the other agents.” 

“I didn’t give you a better phone, you ungrateful lug. I gave you a prototype to test out.”

“That’s what I’m doing.” James’s voice is ladened with amusement, and Q is grinning as he curls into the couch even more.

“I’m assuming you’re alright? No visible wounds?”

“Not yet, but I’ll be done soon. Should be back in about another two days.”

“That’s good.” Q doesn’t say “I miss you”, but he thinks it and he imagines James knows exactly what is unsaid.

“Yes.” James doesn’t say he misses Q either, but Q knows he does (a little), otherwise he wouldn’t have made the completely pointless call.

“I have to go.” James after the line is quiet for a couple of seconds.

“Right, of course.” Q nods, and then realizes that James can’t see him, “I’ll see you when you get back.”

The line dies with an audible click, and Q holds his phone to his ear for a couple more seconds before putting it on the coffee table next to his cup.

He un-pauses the movie and takes a sip of his now lukewarm tea, but ends up deciding to go to sleep early instead of finishing it.

Two days later James Bond comes into Q branch looking relatively healthy but missing one cell phone. 

“Worked well while I had it, but didn’t make it through the mission. Perhaps make the phone a tad more bullet-proof next time, Q?”

“Go away.” Q says with a scowl because James has explained that the phone broke after stopping a bullet that was meant for his heart (the agent had been carrying it in his breast pocket). Q is more annoyed at the fact that somebody had taken a shot that was so close to taking James’s life than the actual lose of his phone.

“I’ll see you at home?” James asks in a stage whisper.

Q doesn’t reply, just keeps looking at his computer screen.

He deems the phone a sacrifice to whatever god is out there, because for the second time that week he gets off work on time and goes home at a reasonable hour.

James has made them chicken pot pie and tomato basil soup. They curl on the couch and watch reruns of Britain’s Got Talent, and after what James must have deemed to be the acceptable period of time for Q to get whatever hang-ups he may have had over the phone, they spend the rest of the night in the bedroom.

And even if for the next two weeks Q doesn’t get to go to sleep before 4am and doesn’t get to sleep any more than 4 hours. Even if he lives on coffee and tea and whatever food James brings him, he thinks it’s still worth it. 

He still hates MI6 hours. The work schedule, the never-ending expectation of the late-night/early morning phone call asking him to come in to the office, Q hates it all. He hates having time off maybe one day in a month and not being able to spend a lot of time with his boyfriend. He hates the fact that because of their schedule James can never plan the elaborate romantic dates that Q has always secretly wanted.

But in the end he supposes that MI6 was the reason that he and James are together in the first place. So he hates it a little less.


	8. In which Q likes films, not movies (but really it's the other way around)

Q is a hypocrite. There’s no other way to say it. He is, and James knows this.

For example, Q will rant against all the unnecessary violence in movies and give anybody who’s willing to listen a speech about how Hollywood isn’t about making quality movies anymore and all the movies like GI Joe and Transformers and Die Hard are the reasons why films aren’t as great as they used to be and Hollywood is past its golden age. But then James will come home to see Q on the couch watching the new Expendables movie, or that one time with Battleship. James knows Q has Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter somewhere on his hard drive, and he knows that there’s a folder in Q’s computer named “films” that have the full collection of the Spiderman movies as well as the new one with the blonde girl in it.

Q says he dislikes the Terminator series because he thinks the concept is flawed. Because essentially it’s the programming in the Terminator that eventually malfunctions and somehow this seems to personally offend Q. He claims that nothing he makes would ever be used against him, ever. James refrains from pointing out that a lot of codes Q has developed have been used by organizations trying to destroy Britain (because they’re having this conversation in bed and James wants to have sex before they go to sleep but knows that interrupting Q is not the way to go). Q, of course, has all the Terminator movies on Blue-ray. They’re neatly stacked just next to his collection of the Transformer franchise.

Q will tell people that he enjoys films and the cinema (not movies, not ever movies. Films, because somehow they are different), but he refuses to watch anything that hasn’t made box-office top five. The first time James took him out to see a movie, the agent had chosen a French independent film that was showing in select theatres and is supposed to be a hit with all the film experts. Q had fallen asleep about 40 minutes in, he had used James’s shoulder as a pillow.

Q scoffs at gossip shows and magazines, saying they are outdated and really anything can be learned by simply hacking and they will soon be obsolete. But James knows that Q has email alerts from HELLO!. Providing that there’s no national emergency, he reads them as soon as they come in. Sometimes if he’s bored or if the magazine really doesn’t give him the gossip he wants, Q will personally hack into a celebrity’s email account or phone to see what’s happening. Q gives James a dirty look when the agent tells him it’s unethical and James doesn’t get sex for a month (mostly because he had to leave on a mission after a week and doesn’t come back for three weeks, but still). The subject is never mentioned again.

Mostly Q gives James dirty looks, he scowls and huffs and generally puts on an air that James is beneath him to care and he doesn’t give a damn about the agent’s wellbeing so long as his equipment is good shape.

And that’s how James knows Q is the biggest hypocrite of them all.


End file.
